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I'm a sad little cunt.

No joke, I'm such a whiny bitch I wish I didn't have to put up with me all day....

But I do.

I could always just zone out...or develop multiple personality disorder.

I think I'll do that.
I want to be 4 people:
1. Tiffany, the bitch with a hard, icy exterior who means well and is frequently misunderstood by the idiots she surrounds herself with to remind her of how much better at everything than everyone else is. She is pretty boring...
2. Audrey, the nymphomaniac with a good heart. She yearns for deep, meaningful relationships...yet no one can keep up with her libido. And if they can, it's due to being completely undesired by everyone else. She is a tease, and wanted by everyone in a 80 mile radius.
3. Hubert, the manly man who does all sorts of handy things around the house. He's also kinda gay. He loves Lady Gaga, America's Next Top Model, DIY projects, and glitter.
4. Charlotte, she is very kind and caring. She loves charities and helping others. She's completely selfless and very wise. She's like a nun, only not so nun-ish. Also, she likes to recycle teeshirts...

Or not...because all of this would take way too much effort. I think I'll just stick with the number one choice on that list of personalities....as I already am Tiffany.

Blah Blah Blah.
I'm back in school.
It's really lame because I'm going to get my certification in Phlebotamy.
[[drawing blood...]]
I totally don't want to do it.
I really don't want to have to touch sick people and get their blood from them.
I'll also have to be nice to them.
And stuff that's not fun....

But I actually kidding about those...I'm not that bitchy...
It's certainly NOT what I want to do with my life.
But it will pay the bills until I decide between my other career choices:
1.  Aquiring radiation poisoning and fighting evil.
2.  Learning every possible language spoken here on Earth and translating for important and sexy people.
3.  Losing two tons of weight and becoming a high-fashion model.  I love couture, and I need a job that will pay me enough to buy it!
4.  Digging up stuff from ancient peoples who lived a long, long time ago.  They were too busy surviving without the internet and television to be bored...so I'm sure this field will keep me intrested for the rest of my life.  There isn't much retirment in Anthropology and Archaeology....

Terrorists suck, ya'll.
Just thought I'd mention that.
Because one of them wants a trial.
I think...that instead of a trial, someone should just kick his ass brutally every hour -on the hour- ....or! we could do something else horrible, brutal, and mean...

Oh, by the way... I apparently have a subscription to Forbe's magazine???  Yeah..... I usually don't read magazines.  =/  Except for Game Informer, Cosomopolitan (rarely, as I find it pointless, shallow, and not raunchy enough.),  National Geographic, Time (sometimes.), and Rolling Stone.  But I attempted to read some of one of the Forbes I have....I put it down after reading the table of contents.  Nothing wrong with this magazine.  I just am not too interested in the dramatics of business and beaurocracy.  *shrug*  But, seriously, how did I get this subscription?????  I ended up just cutting out cool words, some alcohol ads, and big letters....ya know....for those collages and that scrapbook I'll never get around too.
[[By the time I can find the time, money, and energy to do a scrapbook, I will no longer remember the memories I was going to scrapbook...]]

Back to the magazines I read:
1.  Game Informer.
2.  Cosmo [[usually just the parts concerning sex and sexuality...I don't care about perfume and celebrities.  Just the 9,999 ways to hump.]]
3.  National Geographic...but really, I don't read all of it.  Just the interesting article and all the picture captions.
4.  Time.  When the cover gets my attention.
5.  Rolling Stone.  I have read this religiously since 8th grade. =]

Now, the e-zines I subscribe to mostly concern video games and DIY crafty stuff.

So, juding by this media profile...you can tell what?
I'll tell you what you can tell!!!

I am the perfect woman.

Here's why:
1.  I like video games enough to play them with you.  If I feel sorry for you, I'll let you win. =]  That way, your manhood is intact. =p
2.  I like sex and making sure that you do, too.
3.  I like all kinds of music.  So we're sure to get along no matter what type you like.  Unless you don't like music.  Then, you probably aren't breathing either.  You should probably go flirt with a nercrophyliac in this case.

There's other reasons why I'm perfect, but I don't want to sound concieded. =]

Gah...I'm going to crochet a freakin' hat for my godmum.
But I'm avoiding facebook and myspace.
I find myself slowly becoming a creeper and I'm not okay with it...

Watch out, imaginary audience I pretend is interested in this livejournal of mine...I may creep all over you next.

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